These Nights

I remember when I was little and thought ahead to my future I always had certain things in mind. I always thought that in high school I'd spend endless nights out late with friends, have boyfriends, have endless movie marathons, shop all the time, and so on. Now that I'm actually in high school, and over half way done with it, these things obviously aren't what actually happen. But last night was one of those nights that fit my younger observations and thoughts. After our basketball game, I went to hospi with the team. And a bunch of guys came too. And it was plenty fun! Jaci drooling over the black guy that was talking to us from across the room, getting free mozzarella sticks and cheese curds(which they had claimed to be out of), Kristian and Froelich playing with toy cars, and almost getting yelled at by a police officer/security guy. It was just an overall fun time! I wish I had more times like these. I want these types of things to be the times I look back on when I'm older. I want to remember these nights when I was care free and had endless fun with friends.

Family Galore!

With Christmas not being to far behind us all, I thought I'd mention the oddities(is that a word?!) of my family! I don't even know where to begin honestly. I'm just going to include the events that occurred over the most recent visits...

Dad's Side

• going to my grandparent's favorite pizza joint and waiting over an hour for my pizza
• we stayed there so long because they were convinced it'd be out any second
• my grandma calling my aunt because she had missed her call earlier, only to end up hanging up on her
• my grandpa calling my aunt to explain to her what we were doing
• he had to explain this all in his very drunken manner
• my grandpa reaching over several times to honk the horn while my dad is driving through downtown La Crosse
• this includes going past the county jail
• my grandpa rolling down the windows of our van to blast Christmas music as we drive through the Rotary Lights in Riverside Park
• my grandma, mom, sister, and I all playing "Words with Friends" on Facebook for at least 5 hours straight together
• my dad driving around my grandparent's block to honk again as we left town
• and many, many more fun memories were created at my dad's side!!

Mom's Side

• getting forced into my grandma's kitchen of her new cafe to watch the cook make a hamburger
• my cousin ignored the gift we gave him because he already got what he wanted for Christmas and didn't need anything else
• he's only 3 and was satisfied with what he already had!
• my grandma's coworker's husband showed us all a "stake" mealworm
• more deer hunters came into the shop to get tagged
• my aunt's new husband's family decided to have their Christmas dinner in the cafe, so we got kicked out
• my grandma didn't wrap our presents
• she through them into a bag and didn't even label them, we just got to pick whatever we wanted
• and our gifts were basically pajama pants from Aeropostale and chocolate
• my grandpa left without saying good bye, again

 Well there you have it! My dysfunctional family life! Sometimes I wonder how I'm related to any of them.. But I have my quirks too!

Changing

Today I saw the movie New Year's Eve and there was a quote I absolutely loved! 

"Make your what ifs of tomorrow into what will be." 

I need to stop sitting around waiting for things to happen and take charge of my life. I need to make things happen. I can't sit around and expect others to be able to read my mind and get things figured out for me. I need to start changing.

Holiday Stress

Well the holiday seasons are usually busier, aren't they? I don't remember last Christmas season being QUITE this busy! I'm stressed beyond belief! Today, I left the house at 7 am for Stage One at Mackinaw's and then just got home at 10 pm from basketball! At least I got my license on Tuesday! Woot Woot! I love having that freedom so much, even though all I've done so far is basically drive from home to school to Stage One events. Hopefully this weekend I use this new freedom well, and can go shopping for people's Christmas presents!

I feel terrible about that actually! I don't have anyone's presents! I think I'm going to steal Ana's idea and make homemade baked goods. Because A. I don't have time for anything else and B. I have very little money! So to all of my dear friends: I love each and everyone of you dearly, but I'm afraid the stress of the holidays has caught up with me, and your presents will be on the lower end of the money scale and be made from the heart instead. I hope you understand! Even if they're a smidgity bit late!

Well, off to go do MORE homework! How terrible!

Tis The Season

Yes, it's finally Christmas time! Shopping, Presents, Caroling, and most importantly Jesus. That's what it's all about isn't it? His birth! 

With the help of Stage One, I've definitely gotten into the Christmas spirit this year! I love our cantata this year, and the people as well! I feel so close with everyone in the group! Plus it's great spending so much of my time with so many musically talented people! I mean look at this bunch! Don't we look great!

Stage One 2011: Jordan, Daniel, Travis, Nathan, Jared, Sterling, Colton, Adam, Nina, Molly, Erin, Sadie, Becca, Jana, Ana, Sarah, Abby, and Me!

I'm so glad I get to spend so much time with these people. I feel so blessed to get to share Christ's message with so many people and be a witness for His good news!

Turning To You

I know I'm supposed to turn to God with all of my problems and troubles. But I'm human, and often don't do this. I've learned over a few recent events that this needs to change. I want to be a person that looks to Him no matter what the situation. And so I'm going to work really REALLY hard on that from now on, because the only way to get better at this is to do it. 

God, I'm turning to you from now on. I know I've been making a lot of mistakes recently, and I'm yours. I can't imagine where I would be without your heaps of blessings you've given me. It's time I give you the respect and come to you when I need it, like you deserve. I'm finally giving it all up to you.

Like I should have a long time ago.

Betrayed

This has probably been the worst weekend of my life. 

Everything changed. My thought process. My views of others. Everything.

I don't know who or what to believe anymore. In fact I feel completely betrayed by someone I thought I was super close with.

I guess I'm beginning to question who my real friends are again.

I posted something on Facebook and put out a few desperate Tweets, and I things changed there too.

I learned who is going to be there for me when it feels like everything is going wrong. At least I still have a few people I can still rely on and trust. Hopefully I keep them close.

Now I need to keep my focus on God, and keep looking on Him. Because He won't betray me. No matter what happens in the future, He will guide me through all of the pain and suffering. And it will all end eventually.

Solo & Ensemble: Broadway Picks!

I love Broadway music.

I never really realized that until Wednesday, when a few friends were picking out songs.

Favorite Broadway musicals: Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat, Phantom of the Opera, Wicked(even though I haven't actually seen it, only heard the music), and Les Miserables.

For Solo & Ensemble this year I'm doing Popular from Wicked for my Broadway solo! I'm super excited! Sarah is doing I Could Have Danced All Night from My Fair Lady. Ana is doing Green Finch and Linnet Bird. Talk about three terrific songs! Can't wait!

Productivity

Well since it has been a long weekend, I haven't gotten much done. At all. 

I didn't realize it until today that I still have homework that needs to be finished, and I haven't even started. My productivity on long weekends is always on the sluggish side. Although this has been one of my better weekends. Today, despite sitting in my pajamas until past noon, I got up and went to the gym at school with my sister. She had basketball open gym, so I went along and played a good game of 4 on 4 and got the blood pumping. I also weight lifted for a little bit while I was there. So I guess that was pretty good! Now, off to do something worth while!

Thanksgiving

Well this Thanksgiving definitely wasn't very traditional for me. Which is super sad, I love the classic sit around the family table and eat turkey dinner idea. This year we went to my Aunt Marsha's. And only there. She lives on the family farm. So my other Aunt and her husband and my grandparents were there as well. We watched the Packer game in the living room and had some turkey during it. Now if this was at my other grandma's house(on my dad's side) this wouldn't be allowed. A. Because it would mean eating in a carpeted area of the house. B. Because we would be watching tv during dinner. C. No one prayed before the dinner. D. Everyone ate at their own pace. Well I'm sure I could keep going on with reasons. I would much rather be at my other grandma's house. I love the tradition that is upheld there. Everything fits into place. 

After we ate our lunch at my aunt's we went to my grandma's gas station. Well actually it isn't even a gas station anymore. It's a convenience store/cafe. Oh and everyone registers their deer there as well. So while we were down at the store someone came in with a ten point buck. Everyone rushed out to see it and take pictures. I stayed inside however. Hunting is stupid. I don't understand what's so compelling about it! Apparently it's "a guy thing" and it has to do with "the whole feeling of conquering something" and "being victorious." At least that was Jordan's justification for it. Whatever, I still think it's stupid. But I guess if there wasn't anyone hunting anything more people would be hitting deer while driving. Which would be really bad.. We saw at least 5 on our way home from my aunt's house!

Well I hope everyone had a blessed Thanksgiving and had a good time with their family! Tootles!

From The Heart

I always think it feels amazing when you do something from the bottom of your heart, and really mean it. So I'm going to write. From my heart. About a lot.

Lyrics are probably one way I really express myself. I've always wanted to write a song, but I don't think my brain quite works like that. I used to write stories a lot when I was younger. In fact, I wanted to be an author for the longest time. I always thought that was the connection I had with my mom. She writes for CPH, so I thought that I would be an author just like her. I don't write much now, besides my journal and on here. My posts have been inconsistent on here, and even more inconsistent in my journal. I miss writing. I didn't really realize that until I looked at the lyrics to a few songs. I was reading the lyrics to "You Are More" by Tenth Avenue North and felt a spark of inspiration again. The lyrics are so powerful, and mean so much. That's why part of them are on the top of my blog. Yes, up there. ^^^        

While I took a lot of pride in writing out words, others take a lot of pride in speaking words. I'm not one to speak in a group. In fact I hate talking in front of people. Or to people. Honestly, I'd rather write you a billion emails or texts, than to speak with you in person. I don't know why, but I just can't get the right combination of body language, eye contact, and words to come together. I tend to become a complete mess when talking to people. Well anyways, some people express themselves through their spoken words. They flow out of their mouths, and it sounds so natural. I kind of noticed this on Friday in chapel. We had a worship service led by my school's praise band, "Alethia". As we 'ended' the last song, Jordan led the school in prayer. You could tell it came from the heart. He could have been in front of a thousand more people, and he probably could have done the same thing. Or, he could have been in front of just one person, and talked in the same way. He's a speaker. You could tell just by how he spoke his words. It's the same way I hear my dad lead church on Sunday mornings. That natural sense of charisma. Some how I didn't get that gene from my father. I'm not a speaker as I said already. I wish I was though. I wish I could get up in front of tons and tons of people and talk from the heart. To be able to lead a prayer in front of the whole school. I want others to be able to see/hear my faith. 

Testimonies are a really cool thing. So many people have those life changing moments. That time when they really felt God. Although I think some people emphasize their testimonies too much, and put their faith too much into their control, they can mean so much. If I were to tell someone my faith testimony, not too many people would "oo" or "ah", I'll be honest, I wouldn't if I heard my own from someone else. I think that's why I've done some of the things I have done. I wanted to spice my life up. That's where the mistakes began to fall. I wanted something to be added to my life, and that was wrong. I didn't need anything else. The only thing in my life that should matter is Jesus Christ. And that's truly coming from my heart. I need to be living my life out as an example of Christ, so my heart can be a reflection of Christ. Love is one way to do this. If you love others in the same way Christ loves us, they will do the same. It's a chain effect. And to be honest, I've experienced chains start. In New Orleans, July 2010, I went to the National LCMS Youth Gathering. I would consider that event to be a chain of sorts. It was amazing, I've never been so inspired to be a servant for Christ. While down there you felt so compelled and pushed to be a witness for Christ. His love overflowed from your heart without you even realizing it. I wish I could get that love to begin to overflow again. I miss that feeling of constant compassion towards others. And the constant surrounding of others showing love to me. The sacrificial love that Christ has done for me.

That's what is on my heart...

Ignorance is Bliss

I never realized how accurate this statement was until this past year. It's always better to think things are the way they seem. Even though they usually aren't that way at all. I guess there are a few exceptions to this. But for the most part I think I would rather be happy and not know the truth than to know the truth and feel like crap about everything. Because I'm one of those people that if they feel bad, it effects the rest of the week, and everything I do. Everything is related, no matter what.

Questions

I've been asking myself a lot of questions lately. Mainly ones like, "Is it worth it?" "What is happening?" "Why did this happen?" "What's wrong with me?"

I guess I just want to find those answers, and I don't quite know how to find them. Usually I turn to prayer and music. I've been using both of those. But something always holds me back this time. I just feel like I'm not sure what to do.

Hopefully the questions get answered soon. I'm going to need that reassurance.

Exhausted

I don't know why I've been so extremely tired lately. I've been getting to bed at a decent time and haven't had much caffeine at all. The part that sucks the most is that basketball starts on Wednesday, which means I won't be able to "recover" until the season is done.. In March. =P It's going to be a long winter..

11.11.11

Well today turned out to be quite a turn around point. As you saw yesterday( in my previous post), I've been having a bit of a crummy week. Today wasn't too bad though. My Chemistry teacher didn't get my quiz printed off in time for class, so we didn't take it. Volleyball warm ups for next season came in and I got to be the first to try them on. I got to see my sister play her first basketball game of the season. I had a great time with Jenny and Sadie at the basketball game. Stage One sang at chapel. And, well honestly I'm sure I could keep writing more. I'm just so relieved that my Friday turned out to be nice. Especially because it's November 11, 2011. Yes, I'm sure every blogger out there is writing something about today. And I don't blame them! It's quite an exciting day! I always thought it would be cool to have something extremely monumental happen on this day. Well, at 11:11 pm on 11.11.11 is really the ideal time I always imagined it would happen. I don't think it will though, mainly because I don't think I have anything all that exciting that could happen to me. But I know tomorrow will be an exciting day, so I better go rest up for it! Tootles!

Blood and The Truth

Well, this week has been rather interesting. Honestly, I think it has been one of the longest weeks this school year. My homework has been piling up on me and I didn't really notice until last night.

I think the thing that really affected me this week though was a talk. It's always interesting when you find out where things are between yourself and others. And sometimes that truth can hurt. Well yesterday's "truth" did hurt quite a bit. And I've been having a ton of mixed feelings about it. Everyone I've talked to about it has given me a different reaction though. Half of the people said I've made a lot of progress and a lot of great things are going to happen, but others have said that they're sorry and this type of thing sucks. I keep flipping back and forth about it though, I don't know what to think. And today just helped with that I guess.

Today, I actually felt like a... good(?) person. I don't really know how to classify this, but I feel like a better person, I gave blood! Although I was absolutely, completely nervous to do this, I don't really know why I decided to do it. I guess the posters up at school and the announcements just got to me. I tried to get a few friends to give blood with me, but a few of them got turned away. I'm still really glad I got to give though! It was kind of cool too, having my friends there supporting me. It was great talking with Sydney, Jordan, Erin, and Abby while I just laid there. Although, I must say, I felt a bit helpless just laying there dong nothing while they all stood around me. But while I was laying there I sort of had this weird realization about the truth that was revealed to me yesterday. I guess I've sort of been dwelling on that this whole night.

Well that's pretty much it for tonight, hope your weeks have been gong better than mine!

Disney

I didn't really realize until tonight how much I miss watching Disney movies. I was flipping through channels and saw Beauty and the Beast was on, sadly it was at the end. But then Aladden came on right after! Talk about two great movies! Although I don't like Aladdin that much, I love the one scene where Aladdin and Jasmine are in the air singing "A Whole New World".

When I'm older and have kids, I plan on being the parent that sits with their kids and watches a movie before they go to bed. Preferably a Disney movie. I kind of got this "inspiration" from my aunt and cousins. They choose a movie whenever I see them at my grandma's and we all curl up closely and watch the movie and sing a long with the songs. It's always a great time to get closer with them. Plus I've seen my little cousin, Lucy, really fall in love with the characters. She wants that Prince Charming she sees in the movies.

I kind of had that same reaction while watching my Disney movies tonight. I want a Prince Charming too.

Something New

Well I've been getting a bit bored with my blog, so I think I'm going to try something new. Tumblr! I've heard great things about it, so if I don't post on here for a while check me out on there!

Hovie's Life

Lehhgo

Tonight I play in the Sectional SemiFinals for volleyball! Well hopefully I can play. I'm still not sure if I have a concussion or not. But I don't think I do. And honestly everyone I talk to says different things about whether or not they thin I have a concussion. At the moment though, I have no headache at all and feel fantastic! Hopefully coach lets me play!

Time to focus in on the prize. We play to win.(1 Corinthian 9:24)

And whether we win or lose, I'm proud to be a part of the Blazer Volleyball team of 2011. I can't wait to continue practicing and have a great time with these ladies.

Lehhgo! It's Game Day!

DO WORK SON!

REGIONAL CHAMPIONS!

Well, I guess the title pretty much says it all. 

We won tonight, and played one of our best matches of the year. We beat Suring 3-0. Thursday we will either play Florence or Wabeno. Either way we're taking a coach bus up to Florence and will be playing in the Sectional Semi-Finals! Wow!

The adrenaline just keeps pumping!

Team during the 2nd game!

Regional Champs Baby!

Touching the precious plaque!

Me after the game with the plaque!

REGIONALS!

TONIGHT! 7 PM! MAROON OUT!

We(seed 1) play Suring(seed 3) for the Regional finals! I want this! I want to be a part of this! I want to be Regional Champions! I can't even imagine the feeling!

Since it's a home game, I'm expecting a pretty full crowd. Thursday at the semi-finals, which was also a home game, we had a black out! It was amazing seeing our whole bleacher section filled and everyone wearing black!

Let's do this!

Shhh... It's Game Day.

Lady Blazers 2011: Morgen, Ivy, Ana, Sadie, Bekah, Becca, Keifer, Abby, and Me!

Headache

Well yesterday in practice, we were all told to focus.

If you know my team, you know that we have a hard time with that.

Tonight we play in the Regional Finals and if we win, it will be the first time we are Regional Champions since 2007! So this is a crucial game.

So, back to practice, it could potentially be our last practice for the season. I find this rather depressing, especially with how it went!

In fact, I got punched in the back of the head and couldn't focus on anything the rest of the practice. Good thing it happened towards the end of practice! But I'm pretty sure the teammate that did it, doesn't even know because she's a bit self-centered and thinks that because she's setter no one else matters except her. Even though I had a much better angle for the set because she was out of position, and I was squared to the set. Then POW! Right in the back of the head. I've had a constant headache booming in my head ever since then.

I hope it goes away by the time the game starts tonight!

Witness

Most people don't realize what their actions do.

Your actions represent who you are. People remember you for your actions. Everything shows what you represent. If you're doing something stupid while wearing your school's apparel, guess what. Others are going to associate bad things with your school.

The same applies to God. Others may not always know we're Christian, but they might get a few hints just based on our actions. If we are loving, and help others, our lights as witnesses are going to shine brighter.

Be a witness for God. Your actions matter.

This post is just going to be kind of a random post about whatever comes into my head. Sorry if it is rather scattered and unorganized.

I've really been missing a few friends lately. Texting just isn't sufficient enough at the moment. I miss seeing them everyday at school. Even though I haven't had them in class since the eighth grade and I'm now a junior, it seems like just yesterday I met them. I would do anything to spend a week in classes with them again.

Despite my missing of past friends, things are finally beginning to clear up slightly with my friends I'm in school with now. I don't feel like quite as much of an outcast at my lunch table like I did earlier this year. I also am getting along better with people that came last year that I didn't like very much at that time. In fact, I'm getting pretty close with one of them. Naturally, it's due to a few boy related issues.

FIRST SEED! Yes! My volleyball team got first seed for our region! That's awesome! So next Thursday we have a home game for regional semi-finals! I'm so excited! There is a legitimate chance of us making it to state this year. And after yesterday's practice, I think it is very possible. I've never loved being on a team more than I have with this team this year. I don't feel that close of a connection with some of them, but I feel so involved I guess. Like I really enjoy playing and winning with them. Although our record isn't very good right now, we've had a lot of internal victories with our team. We're young. Starting: 2 freshmen, 2 sophomores, 2 juniors, and a senior. That's pretty impressive for a first seed team if you ask me. I'm just excited to see where we end up this season! I'm ready to take on any and every challenge that gets thrown at us!

Well, I'm going to move on to my current favorite topic: BOYS! Who doesn't love this topic?! Well I was texting someone, you can probably all figure this out... And it was during the Packer game and I was explaining why it was really awkward at my house at the time because of all the church workers my dad had invited over. So he was like, oh you should just come to my house and watch the game with me. Dang. I wish I could drive. But since I can't, I had do way to get there. =( And I also found out that due to me switching shirts with another girl in Stage One that I won't be partnered with him for that anymore. So sad.. Oh well..

Well I think that's all for now! =)

Those People

Honestly, I have a great idea for this post, but it isn't going anywhere. So this will be interesting.

Sometimes I act differently around people in person than I do via text or Facebook.

I don't really know why. In fact, I try to be rather social, and I think I do that very well through other methods besides talking to them in person.

This really only applies to a few people.

I don't know what to do to change this either, that's the part that stinks the most.

So I'm going to try acting differently from now on around those people.

I'm just going to be myself.

Finally?!

Are things finally beginning to turn my way? 

A phone call.

Partners.

A hug.

I wonder what the rest of the weekend will bring.

Stressed

Wow, I don't think I've ever been more stressed than I am at the moment!

Why this is currently ironic because Jenee, Rae, and I are going to be leading a Bible study on Friday about stress, I just can't get it to apply to me. In fact, I think that is just frustrating me more.

Main area of stress: school. Contributing factors: friends, boys, and volleyball.

School seems so overwhelming right now! With two major tests on Friday, both of which are looking like I will be failing. Plus planning my Bible study I mentioned earlier, which is also for Friday.

Now, that I look at it, I guess the "contributing factors" almost outweigh school.

Friends. I'm once again beginning to question EVERYTHING! With volleyball, it is nearly impossible to have any time for my friends outside of volleyball. I feel extremely guilty about this, but honestly it isn't just my fault. I think they should be stepping it up a bit too if they're actually my true friends.

Boys. Yes, I've once again fallen into the trap of liking a guy. But this time it seems so different. Although I'm sure I've said this before, I think something may actually happen this time. In fact, after volleyball practice today, he asked me if we could talk quick. So we walked to the commons and he told me that he was sure that I'd probably heard from people that he wanted to ask me out. Which I had and was sort of hoping for. But he just wanted to tell me that he thought I'm a really cool person and that we need to hang out more before we get into dating.

While I'm glad he told me this, and especially that he told me this in person, I'm slightly disappointed too. Actually I guess I feel more respect for him honestly. I'm glad he told me this and cleared things up, I think it really shows that he does care.

Volleyball. My coach showed our team today what our region looks like for the upcoming tournament run. In our region: Gibraltar(0-19), Sevastopol(1-13?), Lena(3-10), Suring(7-11), and us(4-28). Obviously when you're looking at the records seeding looks like it will go Suring, us, Lena, Sevastopol, and Gibraltar. But, the meeting isn't until Sunday afternoon. Between now and Sunday we have a game against Southern Door and a tournament in Oconto Falls. We could potentially bump our record up to over 7 wins and get seed 1. Hopefully this will happen. Now if you don't look at the numbers, but the schedules, you'd be amazed. My team plays tournaments every weekend against D1 & D2 teams. We're D4. That alone should set us above the others. We looked through Suring's schedule. Definitly not as rigorous as our's. So hopefully we can get seed 1 and host 2 home games for regionals. This run towards state, is very, very possible this year. If we stay focused and on task, we could make it to the Resch Center, despite what everyone else thinks.

A Night For The Books

Who would have thought it was possible to have two AMAZING weekends in a row?

Well I'm now a believer that this can happen. 

Last weekend was homecoming, so that obviously brought amazing times of memories and laughter and, naturally, a few amazing pictures to help capture a few of those moments.

Tonight, however, I didn't expect to be that great. I figured, 'O it's the weekend after homecoming. I'll use this as a sort of recovery weekend.' Did that happen? No.

Last night my whole volleyball team spent the night in Sheboygan for a tournament that took place today. We went 1-3 and ended up beating the host team. So I felt somewhat accomplished after that! 

Then, tonight, I went to a bonfire at Jordan's house.

Actually I don't think you can classify it as a bonfire considering we didn't stand by the fire at all, but that's what the original plan was.

Instead of staying by the fire, Jordan, Jake, Kayla, and I decided to go Ding-Dong-Ditching. After finishing the first house and successfully getting away, we were casually walking down the street, well as casually as you can get at 9 at night. And Kayla points and says, "Cop!" I personally thought she was just joking, and apparently that's what Jordan and Jake thought as well. As the car approached, I saw that it was actually a squad car. Honestly, I thought I was going to pee my pants at that very moment. The car stopped. The police officer then proceeded to turn his spotlight straight on to the four of us. He asked us several questions, like where we were headed and if we were going to a party and so on. Jordan, being a well spoken individual covered us very well. Then the police officer drove off, and we just stood there for a moment in the street, trying to breath normally again. Talk about a close call! 

We then continued in our original direction, away from Jordan's house, and then realized we should probably head back to his house. So we turned around and began walking that way. That was when the police car's sirens and lights began flashing. Moment #2 when I almost peed my pants tonight. Luckily, the officer sped past the four of us, and we waved and tried to look like innocent little children that had done nothing wrong.

On the way back to Jordan's, we had a large variety of topics. Among them, walking in a straight line, acting shady, talking to strange ghetto kids, and of course our lack of glow sticks.

Then we got back to Jordan's and actually managed to find some glow sticks. With these, another range of topics arose. These are to be left unnamed due to the obscurity of them. Wow, talk about a crazy night. And to think I almost forgot about the best part. Ninja. We played Ninja behind an elementary school near Jordan's house! Jordan won the first round, but only because of his amazing Ninja-like sound effects that scared us all away. I managed to win the second round. And Kayla won the third round. So we decided that the three of us are champions and that Jake was the loser of Ninja. We then laid in the parking lot across the United States map and gazed at the stars.

It was truly a night to remember. I will never forget our amazing quotes and memories that came with it. =)

What's the Point?

Wow, never thought I'd end up writing something like this. I'm currently in one of those odd moods where everything is extremely depressing. 

Honestly, I can only think of one thing that would make my life feel like it's any good at the moment. 

I thought it would happen tonight, but naturally, it didn't. I'm beginning to question everything now. 

What's the point?

In A Mood...

I'm in one of those weird moods. I think it's mainly due to the lack of sleep because of an amazing weekend, but it isn't a bad, weird mood. Honestly, I'm feeling rather normal, thus I feel like I'm in a weird mood. I guess I'm used to my mood swinging from either a crappy, bad mood or an amazing, happy mood. So this average mood seems quite strange. 

I guess all in all, I'm happier than I was 2 weeks ago when I thought everything amazing was going to work out. It's not the same type of happy at all, but it's a satisfactory happy. And I think this is what I need for the moment.

Last Night!

Last night was my school's homecoming dance. Talk about amazing! It went by so fast though. I'm not sure what part I enjoyed the most, whether it was the preparation for the dance, our dinner and expedition, the actual dance, or the festivities to follow!

I've never had such an amazing dance! Although there were a few ups and downs in the dance itself, I had an amazing time! Here are a few pictures! (I'm the one in the hot pink dress!)

Me with Kayla, Rae, and Sarah posing in the mirror!

The whole gang!

Me and my Stage One buddy!

Jake, Kayla, Olivia, Jenee, Sydney, Sarah, Me, and Jordan!

Well I'm sure I'll post more about Homecoming 2011 later! Tootles!

Sooner Than I Thought

Wow, it's almost Homecoming! It's hard to believe that this week is Homecoming week already! Saturday is the dance! I can't believe it! Although I'm not going as I was originally hoped, I'm still looking forward to my last dance before my last dance. Haha, if that makes sense at all. I can't believe that it's going to be my Junior Homecoming! That's so insane! It seems like just yesterday I was in 7th grade at a youth group dance! Well I probably won't post again until after the dance. Tootles!

Sore!

Well last night, I had a home volleyball game. Sadly we lost, but we didn't go down without a fight. I'm so sore at the moment though! I had an awesome save in which I managed to fall on top of LG on the bench and then land on the floor by the net within about 30 seconds. That took quite some talent. And man am I feeling that today! Dang!

???

How is it possible you can be so incredibly mad at someone, but not be... mad at them? I try so hard to be mad and I just can't help it! I'll avoid talking to someone, and the next second we're having a legit conversation in the hall way at school. I guess it's just part of my personality. Even when I'm upset I have to put up a front. Weird!

Dang

Wow, how can your life go from absolutely amazing to completely crappy within 30 seconds(probably literally). Don't know how I'm getting over this one.

Obsessed? (& some music!)

Well, I'm currently in my music mood. I'm not sure when I'm not in this mood, but it's really bursting through at the moment! With a weekend filled with music and praising God, I started my usually drab Monday with trying out for my school's praise band, Alethia. While I butchered the audition, I know it was all for God and it is in His hands on whether or not I make it. Back to my music mood...

I'm currently OBSESSED with Taylor Swift's album Speak Now. I'm not really one to listen to country music. And yes, I know, Taylor Swift doesn't meet most people's expectations of country music, but she's on my list of country music. I've been listening to this cd on my iPod nonstop! My favorite song off of it, hmmm... I think it'd have to be Sparks Fly. Okay, who am I kidding, I listen to that song every time my iPod is on! I love Sparks Fly, tis an inspiration of what I want when I'm in a relationship!

More music... Well I just love talking and thinking about it so much! So while we're on the topic, I think music is a huge part of life. Honestly, I think that something that is on my list of what I'm looking for in a guy definitely includes some musical ability. Well, honestly I don't care how musical he is, if he can't keep on key while singing for his life, but is an amazing guitar player, I think I can handle that. But I must say the last two guys I've had crushes on have fallen under the extremely talented category. A range of piano playing, state instrumental for solo and ensemble, and amazing vocals! Talk about an amazing set of talents seen between just the two of them! Wow! Well that's all I have for now!

Messing Up

Ever felt like you're the one that messed up. Yep, that's me right now. I finally felt that everything might be turning around. Then, it hit me. It's my fault not you's. Why is always me. Now I'm stuck regretting my own decisions. Why am I always the bad friend?

Stress!

Wow, I've heard from so many different people about how your junior year is the hardest. I'm beginning to believe that already and it's only like the 3rd week of school! I had so much homework tonight! I just finished!

This is how my day went:

Wake up after sleeping on the couch(my room is being painted and is a disaster)- 6:20 am

Leave house-7:00 am

Get to school- 7:15 am

Stage One- 7:30 am

School =(- 8-3 pm

Volleyball HomeRoom- 4:15 pm

Volleyball Practice- 4:30-7 pm

Get Home- 7:15 pm

Eat & Shower- 7:30-8:30 pm

Homework- 8:30-10:45 pm

Talk about a long day! I'm exhausted and stressed already! Thursday is our school's conference opener for volleyball. It is also the night of the season opener for the Green Bay Packers. We were going to try to get our game moved, because people were a bit upset about having to miss the game, but that didn't happen. So now we'll be playing at the same time as the Packers! Guess which team will have ZERO fans! Yeah, you guessed it, the Blazers. =( I'm also super stressed because at volleyball, our practices haven't been going too well.

I ought to be headed to bed! Commitment is on and off the court. And so far, I'm not holding up my end of the bargain! Tootles!

Sometimes

Sometimes...

I find myself on the verge of tears over stupid things, but sometimes they aren't stupid things to me. They end up being what makes me hurt.

I feel like I have no friends. Yeah, that's what it feels like right now.

I feel like I'm standing in the dark, praying and praying, and I still don't get an answer. And I just keep standing there and somehow the darkness gets darker.

I feel overjoyed thinking about the events ahead of me: high school graduation, college, getting a real job, a family. Then I think about how many things that could possibly go wrong. What if I'm that one person that flunks out of college and end's up on the street. And I can't help thinking about if I never get to start a family. What will I do?

I'm afraid that I'm headed for a dark tunnel that I won't be able to get out of, that's why I have friends, isn't it? But then I look over to those friends that have stood by me in the past, and they aren't there. I have no one to help me walk, so I just fall. And I don't know how to get back up.

I know music can get me through whatever I'm feeling, and then the best songs pop up onto my iPod and I know God is telling me to stop straying from Him. And He hasn't abandoned me, I'm beginning to abandon Him. 

I get in these moods to write a lot. Those are usually the times I'm experiencing some strong feelings about something that I'm confused about. So if you're my friend, and you're reading this, maybe you should reconsider a few things. I'm feeling.... left out.

Think about everything you've done lately. It's probably affected me somehow. And I'm not being selfish. I'm just no longer going to put my own needs below everyone else's. That's what I did last year. And you all now how that turned out.

Talent

Well I think a lot of people are either under appreciated for the talents they have, or they are upright cocky and arrogant about their talent.

But at my school I've noticed we seem to be just at the right level of appreciation and humbleness.

For example, our sports teams put God at the center of everything. This is due to the fact that He has given us our talents and gifts. But our sports' practices on Wednesdays don't go past 6:30 so everyone can get to church services or youth groups. I think that is a great way to show that God is the creator and deserves our thanks and praise for the things He has given us.

Also, for choir, we pray before our concerts and usually mention something about using our God-given talents to the best of our abilities. 

As an auditioned choir, Stage One, we do a Christmas Cantata at all of the area/circuit churches. This was an extremely amazing thing to experience this past year. Not only do we as a whole group get to share our talents with fellow Christians, but we get to share God's word at other places besides the churches. Last year we sang at Lakeland College, the Botanical Gardens, and on Fox 11 News! It was such an amazing thing.

Honestly, anywhere you look you can see people being under appreciated. At my school, I'd say the band program is probably the most under appreciated of all the music programs available. This is kind of sad, because we do have a really good band. In fact, last year we had two instrumental soloists go to state for solo and ensemble. Both are extremely talented brass players. But they aren't like pushy about their talent. In fact they are both extremely humble about it and probably wouldn't bring up that they went to state if you asked them how last year went.

For our sports programs, the softball and girls' basketball teams are the least appreciated. Softball is mainly because everyone is staring at our soccer team. The soccer team generally holding the more popular kids I guess, and a few more wins than the softball team. But I don't think you should just be focusing on the wins all the time. Last year, the pitcher on my school's softball team was absolutely amazing. All-state in fact. And sadly, most people didn't take the time to go to a game. The girls' basketball team is in a similar position. Although we did have a few people coming to our home games, it was no where near what our boys' team got. I find that quite sad. I mean, yes, our boys' team is pretty amazing and full of talented people, but that doesn't mean our girls' team isn't good.

This is just where I stand on a few "issues" when it comes to talent and appreciation. Sometimes I think you just need to look at things a little differently and think about them.

Life Check

As I lay in bed I usually think about what has happened over the course of the day. Last night I just broke down after thinking about the past year.

I guess I feel like that because I'm a PK I need to be... extra-Christiany. I looked back on the past year and it kind of hit me in the face that I've not been a very good witness.

I also realized I try to listen to a lot of Christian music sometimes. Well that's what it used to be like in grade school. But since I hit high school, that pattern has gone down hill. Honestly, I have Christian music on my iPod, but I usually skip past it because I'm sick of it or I don't feel that it is upbeat enough for me. I need to change that. I feel that music is a huge part of my life. And if the music I listen to is influencing my life dramatically, I'm headed down a bad road at this point.

Today I had a "meeting" with two guys from my school, Jordan and Jake. We're going to be singing at Jake's church for their Sunday School Kickoff next Sunday. Jordan and I will be vocal only. Jake will play guitar and do vocals as well. Ana will play violin and do vocals. Morgen will do piano. And Noah will play guitars and vocals. Honestly, I'm super excited. At our little meeting today we picked out the music. We will be rehearsing during our 6 hour, where all of us except Noah have a study hall near our school's music room. I can't wait to be singing with them.

One of the songs we picked was "You Are More" by Tenth Avenue North. We watched the video on YouTube at school and I thought I was going to break down in tears because it had a lot to do with what I've been thinking about lately. I looked over at Jordan when the song was done and I'm pretty sure he had teared up a bit. Jake, Jordan, and I looked at each other and then talked about how powerful the video and lyrics are.

So I think you should all check it out:

You Are More by Tenth Avenue North

This really put things into a new perspective. And I'm glad God showed me this. It was truly an answer to my prayers recently.

Study Hall

Well I don't have exactly the most ideal study hall. But it sure is loads of fun! Although we're stuck with the worst of all possible study hall monitors, we still have a terrific time.

Today, we came up with nicknames! Hmmm, FagetBoy, HomoMan, GayRay, Invisigirl, LesbianLady, you get the point! Probably slightly offensive... Okay definitely offensive. But I must say it was quite fun!

Volleyball

Today I had a tournament at East! We didn't do too well, but we've definitely improved since Thursday's tournament! Here are some pictures my dad took on his phone(so they aren't very good)

The Beginning

The school year has officially begun. How sad! Although I love seeing my friends every day, I hate the other things that come with that. Homework, exams, teachers, you get the point! 

It's amazing to see how much people have changed over the summer though. In fact, it's almost fascinating. Today I had at least 3 people talk to me in class that usually wouldn't even look at me last year! Quite exciting, I guess.

Of course, with it being the first week, everyone is getting back into the rhythm of school and it's always fun learning how people's summers went. And it's always fun seeing who's in your classes and who will be the biggest clown. Naturally I'm speaking about how part of my day went!

Well I'll write more later! Tootles!

Under Armour

Well volleyball season is officially in full swing! I'm actually quite excited! This year we got amazing Under Armour uniforms. One is maroon(real maroon) and the other white. Hopefully I'll post pictures later, but I don't have any at the moment.

Today we had our first scrimmage. It was against Bayport, a D1 team. We're D4, so quite a stretch in match ups. But we actually played pretty well. Since it was a scrimmage, no scores were kept. But I'm still sure we did a pretty good job. Plus we all looked spiffy in our fabulous uniforms! Hahaha, but I got a few kills and that was quite exciting. As in any game, we had our fair share of mistakes and saw a huge need for improvement. But for the first "game", I'm satisfied.

Oh, and congrats to the football team on their first Varsity win EVER! 25-0! I'm proud to be a part of my school and our athletics program! Everyone supports each other!

Yeah!

Well my job interview went well! I set up a second interview for Friday! Also, I made varsity for volleyball! Now I just have to keep up the hard work! I hope I can work hard enough to be a starter! Yeahhh!

Day 1. Check.

Well, Day 1 of volleyball is over! It actually wasn't that bad! We had "tryouts" today and they will be continued into tomorrow's practice. Sadly, I did very poorly on my serving and setting. Hopefully I can still make Varsity though! Tomorrow we will be scored on our hitting, which is my stronger point. I just hope I hit accurately tomorrow!

Also tomorrow, I have a job interview at Fazoli's! I'm super nervous! It will be my first job interview ever. It could be interesting when I bring up how my work schedule will be, considering I play three sports. Hopefully that goes well!

Tootles!

Once Again, But Not Quite

How is it possible that nothing works out? 

I got home from Ana's yesterday and my mom told me that some of our family friends from Madison would be coming to town possibly for a Packer game. But there were only 4 tickets. I figured my friend Andrew, who isn't a Packer fan at all, would just  not go to the game. I thought he'd come tailgating with us and then just come back to our house and watch from there.

Then, I got a little snoopy. I decided to look up his football schedule. Guess who has a game that night. Things like this always pop up when we are about to meet up. I haven't seen him since July 2010. It's weird how many times we've tried to meet up in the last year, and how absolutely none have worked out.

So once again, I won't get to see him. How do we get so close, but are yet so far away? I just don't understand.

Falling Into Place

Well things finally seem to look bright. I'm sitting at my bestie, Ana's, house. We biked from her house to a beach yesterday. Which in total was about 12 miles. We had a great time there, and have many memories of awkward conversation with random guys that came up to talk to us. I love when things like this happen.

This morning I was taking quizzes with Ana on Seventeen.com and I got a call from my dad. I was called to have an interview at Fazoli's, where I recently applied. FINALLY! Somewhere had finally called me to set up an interview. So on Tuesday, before volleyball practice I'll be going in there and having an interview. I'm really nervous though. But this alone is progress!

I was also invited to a pastor's lunch meet & greet up in door county in a few weeks. I'm excited to go because apparently a bunch of pastors & their families will be there! And apparently there will be a pool and hot tub and volleyball court and all sorts of fun stuff! Wow, usually I dread stuff that has to do with other pastor families. But I honestly can't wait!

Well, I better spend my last few days of summer out doing something fun! So tootles!

Running Out Of...

Well, summer is nearly over for me. How sad! But as the summer is coming to an end, so is my blogging streak. Well and even my consistency to blog. As you can see I've missed a few days already. This is mainly due to running out of time, ideas, etc. But I'll try to get over my slump of no blogging and get back in to the saddle! But I don't think that will happen anytime soon! Tootles!

Later.

Well I was going to write a long post today, but my grandparents are in town and I had a bit of change in plans. So instead of a long post, I'll just say, "Happy 41st Wedding Anniversary to the Best Grandparents EVER!" I love both of you! <3

This was taken at approximately 2:00 pm on August 8th, 2011. The happy couple was married at about 2:00 pm 41 years ago!

I can't wait to find someone to spend 41+ long and happy years with.

Dress

Well, Sarah wanted me to post a picture of me in my homecoming dress. So here it is, and you can see what it looks like with my darker hair too!

(ignore my messy room!)

What do you think?

Hair

Yesterday I dyed my hair black. And it actually looks pretty nice. It's a little blotchy in some places, but other than that I think it turned out pretty nice!

Sorry it's on its side. But this is me(bottom) with Sydney(top). Before dying my hair.

I'm in the middle. With Sarah(left) and Ana(right), shopping for Stage One shirts!

Time Without

Well my mom is down in Dallas for the National Lutherans for Life Convention, so it's just my dad, sister, and me at home. I actually wasn't home when she left, so it's been even long since I've seen her. 

It hasn't been to bad without her. Yesterday my dad and I went to Copp's and bought a few necessities. Necessities including: Ranch, Hot dogs, Hot dog buns, Croutons, and Ice Cream. Sounds like a guy's meal to me. And I'm more than fine with it of course!

It's kind of nice to have some time without my mom. I don't feel as stressed. Since my dad isn't home during most of the day I don't feel bad just laying around in front of the TV all day. But today he took me to the mall to go shopping with Sarah and Ana. It was sort of an unplanned trip. Well my mom's version of unplanned. We planned it in less that 48 hours. Which is wait too short notice for my mom most of the time. So it was kind of nice to be able to plan something on a "whim" and have the plan actually work out. Well now we're off to the movies!

Tootles!

What Now?

Well I've had an extremely busy August already! Sadly, my blogging streak has come to an end, as I missed blogging yesterday. But that's okay, because I was having a great time with Sydney.

I was planning on adding pictures to this post, but unfortunately that won't be happening as our computer is having a few issues.

So on Monday, August 1st, I had a vocal lesson and found a song to start working on for solo and ensemble this year already. I also went to Sydney's and spent the night.

On Tuesday, the 2nd, we(Sydney and I) left for Janesville for a 5k for National Night Out against Crime. I finished in about 31:28, which was worse than my 5k I ran on Saturday. After the 5k we headed to Milwaukee and spent the night at a hotel, where we got to go swimming!

Yesterday, we woke up right as the breakfast buffet was supposed to be closing, but it wasn't luckily, so we enjoyed breakfast. After that we headed back upstairs to change and then we soaked our soar muscles in the hot tub. It felt great! Then we checked out of our hotel and headed to Millar Park and went to the Brewers game against the St. Louis Cardinals! Boy was it hard to cheer for the Brewers instead of the Cardinals. I used to live in St. Louis, so I feel a smidge of a connection with the teams. So don't be surprised to see me rooting for the Rams either! The Brewers won with the final score being 5-10. We sadly missed seeing the sausages race because we had to go by Sydney's dad some roasted nuts and carmel kettle corn. But it was still a great time!

Originally I was supposed to go home last night, but my dad ended up having a meeting, so I obviously got pushed to the side. So I stayed another night with Sydney. We watched Insidious. Not my usual cup of tea. I'm not usually one for horror movies, so that added to the scary factor. I'm glad I watched it though, it's always a good experience to work through things like that.

Well as you can see I've had a busy couple of days. But now this will give me more time to think. At the moment, this sounds terrible. I hate having the oppurtunity to think because I always come to bad conclusions and confuse myself. I just don't think it's "healthy" for me to have time to think right now. So luckily tomorrow I will have more time with my friends and less time to think.

Forgotten.

Yesterday I picked up my yearbook.
I always felt bad for the kids who got forgotten on a page to a group they belonged to, I didn't think it'd ever happen to me. Well it did this year. And for my FAVORITE group.
I wasn't listed as being a part of Stage One this year. You have no clue how frustrating that is for me. I finally felt like people might remember who I was, obviously they don't though.
I'm just a forgotten piece of a puzzle. Brushed under the rug with all the dust.

What A Day Ahead!

Well, as I mentioned yesterday, I look over my month on the last day. So what do I do on the first of a month? I set goals. What do I want to achieve this August? Here's a little list:

• See Andrew(I kind of doubt this will happen though)
• Make Varsity for Volleyball
• Get some super cute clothes before school starts
• Dye my hair black
• Have some last minute friend time
• Go on a bike trip with Ana

Some of these obviously could get pushed back to a later date, but personally, the sooner it gets done, the better! That's all I have for today!

Last Day of...

Today is the last day of July. How sad! August is tomorrow, which means my summer is nearly over. I can't believe it! It has gone by so quickly!

On "last days" I like to evaluate myself. So I've done that today, and I realized most of my time was spent on sports or doing something active. I suppose that is sort of a decent way to spend my summer. At least I'm not being lazy or something like that. 

So although it is the last day of July and nearly the end of summer, I've spent these past 2 months well and wouldn't change much about them.

Off Again!

Well, I like to keep busy. This morning I'm off to run in a 5k at Lambeau Field. I picked up my packet and information in the atrium last night and the run begins at 10 today! I'm super excited. Although I haven't gone running in a while, so it could be interesting. But this will be sort of a warm up 5k for when I run one on this coming Tuesday with Sydney!

Wish me luck!

Tootles!

Shopping!

Well today I went shopping with Bekah and we went to the Fox River Mall in Grand Chute(not Appleton). I ended up finding my homecoming dress at JCPenney! I love it! Oddly it is hot pink! Which is not regularly my color of choice! Yes, that's it-------------------------------------->


And I even have a terrific pair of black heels to go with it! I'm so excited for homecoming this year, even though it's super far away!


While shopping today I also bought hair dye. I'm going BLACK! SO excited about that as well!


Well, as today was quite long, I better get some sleep!

Music

I love music. If you know me, that is quite obvious. It amazes me how many times I've been asked where I got my favorite necklace. It's a simple necklace with a treble clef on it. I love it, almost as much as I love music.

Music has always been a huge part of my family. Whenever we go to Christmas at my grandma's house we sing carols why she and my mom play the piano. Whenever I was over at my grandma's and my cousins were there, my aunt would sing them to sleep. I want music to "flow through my veins" like it does through their's. I'm working on that now. God has truly blessed my family with the gift of music.

Do You Ever...

Do you ever get goosebumps because a song pops up on the radio and it makes you think of someone special?

I do.

Do you ever wish you were that person that always seems to be in the right place at the right time and everything works out perfectly for them?

I do.

Do you ever think your life is so messed up you don't know what to do?

I do.

Do you ever wonder what it would be like to get whatever you wanted, no matter the circumstance?

I do.

A lot of these have been on my mind lately. Take a minute to reevaluate what these "statements" are really made of. Think of WHY your life isn't that way. God's timing is perfect. His plan will be unfolded in His time, although it may not seem perfect now, things will work out.

Do you ever feel like you finally understood what something meant?

I do.

What Now?

Well yesterday I had my second and hopefully last therapy appointment. According to Dr. Jill I need more time for fun and friends. She said most people need to cope by doing more, to keep them distracted, I on the other hand, need to do less. Less for me requires me to still do something though, which is how I got "prescribed" more time with my friends! 

Only problem, I don't know how to make that work. Either my friends work, are out of town, or are in sports with me and are just as busy. I don't know how to schedule time with them when they are just as busy and our schedules are conflicting. What now?

Hurt

I think I tend to get hurt more easily than a lot of people. Not physically, although my knees are a reoccurring problem, but emotionally.
As I was just reading through a friend's blog post I came across a few facts that made me a bit... angered. 
How can you say you are someone's bestie, but never invite them to anything! How does that work? Honestly, am I just missing something? 
Maybe I come off differently and don't realize it. Maybe I can get a tad "clingy" but guess why. Because people keep doing this to me. I shouldn't have 5+ people saying I'm one of their besties, and then never see them outside of school. I shouldn't be put into the position to have to nag someone to hang out with me. Maybe that's part of my "mental problem". 
I wish people would realize how much these things impact me. Don't they realize that isn't helping with my "I'm not good enough" feeling. If anything it makes it flourish and continue to grow heavy on my heart. I think others need to reevaluate how they act towards others. Because guess what, it probably comes off way differently than you think or intend. I'm hurt. No one realizes it.

Thoughts From Church

I've been Lutheran my whole life. I think I usually take this for granted and my mind will drift off during church. I know that's not a good thing, as our faith is to be continually nourished and growing. Today I really paid attention. I even have notes to prove it!
The epistle lesson was from Romans 8 and has one of my favorite verses in it:
"If God is for us, who can be against us?"
This is one of my favorites because we sing a song based on the verse in chapel a lot. I love that song, and it's such a great reminder that with God on our side we have no enemies.
The Gospel lesson was from Matthew 13 and dealt with a few parables. My dad is the pastor at my church and I personally think this was one of his best sermons. He talked about how in Matthew 13 these parable are talking about specific things.
"Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls, who, on finding one pearl of great value, went and sold all that he had and bought it"
This is talking about how we all search the world for something special. It varies from person to person, but a common thing that is sought is religion. Did you know that when it comes to religions, Christianity is the only religion where God does everything for us, we do nothing to earn his love. The pearl of religions is Christianity, no matter the denomination, and we are to cling to that pearl.
"Again the kingdom of heaven is like a net that was thrown into the sea and gathered fish of every kind. When it was full, men drew it ashore and sat down and sorted the good into containers but threw away the bad. So it will be at the close of the age. The angels will come out and separate the evil from the righteous and throw them into the fiery furnace. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth."
This is saying the Word is for everyone. As was Jesus' death on the cross. Jesus' love on the cross is for everyone and is to be shared with everyone. No exceptions. We are to be witnesses and show His same love. 
Our response to His love, is to live a life of joy. We are His witnesses, let your light shine in all you do.

Babysitting

Today I will be babysitting my "favorite" family. Haha, that's not really true, but since I don't have a job I need all the money I can get. So luckily, my biology teacher pays $2 a child per hour. And most of the time all three of his children are usually there. Usually when I babysit he and his wife are out with my parents and I get paid pretty decenly. So that is really the only reason I agree to babysit the kids. I guess I don't really mind as much as I used to, but his children do need a bit of an attitude adjustment occasionally. So that is always fun. Time to leave, maybe I'll write later tonight about how it went..

P.S. Happy 17th Birthday Olivia! Sorry I can't spend it with you!

Names & Family

As I have been helping with volleyball camps the past two weeks I've noticed a large range of names. There are the generic ones and the very unique ones. 
Here are some unique ones I had:

• Sage
• Veronica
• Kathleen
• Karissa 
• Karalyn

Here are some of the generic ones:

• Alexis
• Olivia
• Lindsay
• Marissa
• Rachel

I love names! Here are the names I plan on naming my children:

• Alexia Marie
• Lindsie Mae
• Jacob Andrew
• Lilly Michelle
• Nathan Thomas
• Emilee Anne
• Carley Christine

And yes, I want 7 children! I love kids, and I want to bring many into this world and raise them in a suitable household and bless them with a close family.  There are a few families at my school that have several children in them and they are best friends with their siblings. That's how I want my children to act because I'm not very close with my sister, and that has led to some problems. I love children and families. Can't wait to start my own!