Rambling

This post probably won't be about anything specific, I'm more just procrastinating on homework.
Actually I did some of my homework this weekend. I just got back from Starbucks where I'd been working on it. While I was there, their sewage system got backed up so they had to close, and I had to end my study session.
Well this weekend has been quite interesting. I've learned some rather interesting things. I've decided I need fun. I'm so focused on my school work and everything right now that I've passed up some fun opportunities sadly. But now I won't be afraid to take those opportunities. I don't want to regret my senior year because I was too cowardly to have any fun!
Also, I feel like a really bad friend as of late. I've been texting my best friend's ex. Well, he's been texting me. And apparently that's getting around school. So I don't think I'm going to text him anymore because he's definitely been flirting with me. And he invited me to hang out with him. So I think I need to back off for the sake of my bestie.
It seems like I've been waiting forever for my senior year. I had all of these moments visioned on exactly how it would be. None of them have come through though. I think a lot of it is that I'm missing being in a relationship. That really was a huge part of my summer, and now I'm finding that I separated myself from my friends too much. I've noticed we don't talk as much as we used to. Part of me thinks that this is because I spent my whole summer with Caleb, and very rarely with them. I totally regret this. I guess I look back and think of how this is making me grow a lot as a person, but I'm also realizing that I need to reorganize my priorities. I can'r rely on others as much as I do, but I also can't just rely on myself. Bad things happen then.
Luckily, I've had this huge spark lit within me. Christian music has been calling my name. I borrowed my church's copy of TobyMac's new cd and I love it, I just have to put it on my iPod. I also need to find my Switchfoot cd that my mom has. I just feel so renewed and alive while listening to Christian music. Oddly enough, the thing that got me started on that was definitely LiFest with Caleb. How ironic....

A Sad Last

Tomorrow will be my last home conference game for the rest of my life.
Just that thought makes me want to go back in time and do everything over.
I'm not ready to give it all up.
I don't want to grow up.

I sure hope my friends will be there supporting me at one of our "lasts."