Basketball starts in a week..
And I'm not playing this year.
I can't believe I made that decision. It sort of makes me nauseous just thinking about it.
It's hard to believe I'll have so much time this winter to spend with myself. I honestly can't even wrap my mind around the idea of it.
Part of me really wants to play this year, but knows I cant because it'll be "giving in" and showing that I'm weak and won't stand behind my word.
But the other part of me knows it wouldn't be good for me to play. I don't think I'd be mentally stable enough to. The few people I've told using that exact phrasing don't believe me. But I really don't think I'm in a good place to be spending so much extra time doing things that won't pertain to my future.
One huge thing that sucks about me sticking with this decision of not playing, is that one main reason I wasn't going to play this year was so I could spend more time with Caleb. Obviously those plans aren't going to hold up the way they'd originally been intended. I guess that will be something I really work out in my alone time with myself.
I was having the same thoughts...I didn't want to play because it's nothing i'm going to go on and do in the future. I don't particularly like the sport as much as others, and it would take up a lot of my time. But if your not playing because you feel like you don't want to go back on your word. And your not playing because you were planning on being able to spend time with a guy that's not in the picture right now. Then maybe you should re think it. I know I did. It's our senior year. The last time we will Have The Chance to ever play basketball on a team. A chance to bond with girls, in stead of sitting at home alone. A chance to compete, and have fun! All i'm saying is our you going to regret it once your the one only watching the games. I know I would've. So i'm playing!
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