Alone in the Park

I'm sitting here alone, my original intentions of coming here was to make peace with what I used to consider ours. I figured this would be a good time to read my book and listen to some Taylor Swift.
I got as far as the music. I picked up my book and opened it. But I couldn't read, I could only look up and out at the lonely park.
The bare trees stand there in bunches, pairs. Most of them are in couples.
The first time I came to this park I was with someone. The time after that I came with a few others. No matter what, this has been the place for socialization and interaction. There has never been a sense of solitude here. But now there is.
The park no longer has that adorable little baby we saw sitting in the stroller while we sat in the swings talking about kids. Those little kids that wanted to join in in our scavenger hunt are no longer racing to the top of the slide. There lives continue on. Most of them probably don't think about that one day we were at this park. But every time I pass here on my way to or from school it all comes back. Laying in the grass, you in the shade because you were warm, me in the sun because I wanted to get a better tan. Getting up quicker than we thought possible when we were swarmed with wasps and sprinted to your car. Those memories are still with me.
But that doesn't mean I have to stop here. My car may be parked in this parking lot, seven spaces away from an old lady sitting in her car reading. Like I was going to.
Part of me knew that coming here would bring it all back, but part of me also knew I needed to come. I needed to say good bye to those memories and leave them here.

Last night I changed sheets for the first time since we broke up. It took me five months to do it. Now that I think about it, that is absolutely disgusting. But I knew as soon as those sheets went through the wash I'd never get back those tears I'd cried over you. They're gone forever now, I can't get them back.

I'm truly alone in this park now. No turning back to the good times we shared. It's time I stood up for myself, alone.